Grace Will Find Us

The longest year of my life was the six months I spent as a volunteer chaplain on the transplant floor at Santa Rosa Children’s Hospital. When it was good it was very, very good; and when it was bad…

A five-year-old boy was waiting for a liver. The clock was ticking. His parents would come to see him every day, before and after work. One afternoon I didn’t want to see them. Everything was too sad, plus I was out of gas. I snuck out early. At 4:45, I headed downstairs for the parking lot. I got off the elevator in the lobby and saw them pulling into the handicapped space near the front door. I ducked into the bathroom.

I was looking in the mirror when I heard someone coming. I hurried into the last stall. Someone came in. I climbed up on the toilet, bent over and held my breath. I heard a flush, water in the sink, then his voice:

“I know this is hard. It is hard for everyone. We don’t expect you to be God, just our friend. We know you need to take care of yourself. We want you to. You can go home without feeling guilty about it.”

He opened the door and went upstairs. I stayed frozen in the stall, king of the toilet, for another ten minutes. Then, I walked out into the parking lot to my car and went home.

I discovered something that afternoon; something terrible and wonderful. Grace will find us wherever we hide.