Waiting

Waiting tables is no picnic. I lasted a couple months at a Café in west Texas. It started out a one-night stand filling in for my college roommate, Wayne. Halfway through my shift the owner motioned me over to the register and asked me if I wanted permanent work. I nodded. End of interview. End of Wayne.

The owner was huge. His nose weighed more than my niece. His thighs would throw sparks when he wore polyester. When things were slow he would sit me down at his special teaching table and “edgeecate” me on the general public. He told me they’ll swallow anything if you say it with a smile. Invaluable advice for the ministry. He told me to practice smiling in the shower and to keep repeating aloud, “I’m HAP-PY! I’m HAP-PY!” He taught me the two big questions: “What can I get you?” and “What else can I get you?”

He rehearsed me at his teaching table near the register and stopped me whenever I seemed insincere. When I’d get it right he’d let me bring him pie. He developed a high tolerance for insincerity.

The real money was tip money which was bad news at this joint. I got blamed for late food, raw food, burned food, cold food, wrong food, old food, ugly food, small food and hairy food. But I would stand there and take it like the Cheshire cat, invisible except for the smile.

An old farmer named Tom was impossible to please. At the end of his meal he would reach into his overalls and pull out his coin purse. It was a green plastic thing from the bank shaped like a football with a slit across the top. He’d squeeze the ends with his fingers and it would open like a mouth. He would reach in and delicately pull out a dime and three pennies. He would hide the change under his saucer so I’d be pleasantly surprised.

They call it “waiting” tables but it is a different kind of waiting. It is active, not passive. It is doing something for someone else. It is waiting, hand and foot, on somebody. Being present, attentive, patient and busy.

Imagine waiting on God. Also a different kind of waiting. Not being still, but serving. “What can I get you?”

Any chance we’ve misunderstood Isaiah? “Those that wait on the Lord shall renew their strength…”